Top Hospital Moments

I’ll admit that parts of my 11-day adventure at Asan Hospital (Korea’s biggest clinic) were unpleasant but the majority of it, thanks to my friends, was actually totally fine…parts of it were even downright enjoyable.

Here are the moments that I remember making me smile the most:

• The original diagnosis -- I was so happy to know what was wrong that I just had to dance a little on my IV pole.

• The first official conversation with the doctor…
• Doctor: “You’re going to have to stay here for5-7 days.”
• Me: “Well…….fuck.”
• Doctor: “Fuuuuuck.”

• Every time the doctors drew me a diagram of what was going on inside of me, they drew the liver, the stomach, the gallbladder and the pancreas, etc. They always followed this up by crossing off the gallbladder and reminding me that I didn’t have one anymore. Yes, I know.

• My friend, Nicole, walking under my IV one night:
• “Oh…your food got me in the head.”

• When switching rooms...
• Nurse: “Did you check the fridge?”
• Me: “Umm….I haven’t been allowed to eat since I got here.”

• While the nurse tried to put in my millionth IV…
• Nurse: “Make a fist.”
• (I stare at her blankly.) 
• Nurse: “…Oh, you can’t.” 
• ^^(I already had another IV in my hand on that same arm.)

• While the nurse translated my last endoscope waver...
• Nurse: “The surgery could cause bleeding and therefore a significant loss of blood…but that’s already happened. It could ­­­­puncture or damage your gallbladder…but you don’t have a gallbladder anymore. The anesthesia could make you sick but that already happened twice…”

• While Skyping with Erin...
• Doctor: "Is that your sister?"
• Me: "Yes...don't we look alike?"
• Doctor: "No. She is much more beautiful than you."

• A few different doctors & nurses called me Brian or O’Brien because, in Korea, the last name goes first...and they were confused.

• Making friends. I still keep in touch with my favorite nurse and we have plans to hang out sometime in the near future. I also became good friends with my surgical team since I ended up spending so much time in the good old OR with them. We spent quite a bit of time chatting and laughing while we waited for the head guy to get there. We even had a few English lessons.

• The best part (self-explanatory): Hospital Fun

• LEAVING!
• Again, I can’t thank the people who helped me enough. I have amazing friends here in Korea and I’m so lucky to have them. They helped me get to and from the hospital, visited me, stayed with me overnight, brought me things I needed, helped me with language barriers, cooked and shopped for me afterwards and, most importantly, made me laugh. I couldn’t be more grateful to all of the amazing people in my life!! Thank you all!!

When Getting Used To A New Culture, Just Grin & Bare It

Yes, I meant to write that and, yes, I walked around naked in public.

Last week I tackled the cultural difference that I was most afraid of. Korea has "bath houses" everywhere which are basically half-spas/half-hostels. It costs less than $10 to get into one, you can stay as long as you want, and they're full of hot tubs, pools, saunas, food & drinks and rooms to sleep in. Sounds amazingly relaxing, right? The only catch is that you're not allowed to wear anything -- including bathing suits -- when you're in the hot tub area.

My friend and I had been putting this off since we got here but we finally decided to just go ahead and do it. Of course, making the decision to go was only half the battle. Once inside, we hung out in the coed saunas for a while (where you're allowed to wear clothes) but we knew that since we'd gotten so close, we couldn't leave without fully participating.

I came up with Plan A: Let's get in the hot tub with our clothes on and pretend we thought it was optional. However, that probably would've gotten us kicked out so my friend came up with Plan B: Just strip like we're supposed to and then don't look down. We went with Plan B.

We stood at the lockers giggling like idiots until our faces were the same color as the pink shirt I was supposed to be removing. Eventually we counted down and took everything off. We laughed the whole time and, as I often do when I'm laughing, I said I was going "pee my pants." I only realized the irony after I'd said it.

In the beginning, we were super awkward about everything. We laughed uncontrollably and tried to dart as quickly as possible from tub to tub whenever we switched. After a while though, we got over it. Looking back, it was just like getting used to any other cultural difference. At first it literally seems CRAZY but then you realize that, from the other point of view, your way seems just as ridiculous. People here can't imagine getting in the hot tubs with bathing suits on. It's amazing how much the environment you grow up in controls the way you think (a realization that I have a minimum of ten times a day when I'm living in a foreign country).

Conclusion: Whether you do it the Korean way or the American way, hot tubs are amazing! We're already planning our next trip to the bath house (and I have a feeling it's going to be my new favorite place to hang out)!

Student Ridiculousness Of The Week

During a game where one student describes the word and the rest guess:

Student 1: “Shannon Teacher is……”

Student 2 (Without missing a beat): “UGLY!”

….Correct Answer.

While reading a story about Helen Keller:

Me: "Why did Helen hug her teacher?"

Student: They're lesbians.

^And a kid in a different class said the exact same thing two days later.

I have tons of kids who have chosen the same English names so I have to use the first letter of their last names to separate them. My student, Justin G, on the other hand, keeps trying to call himself Justin J, Justin S or Justin L. He doesn't understand that you can't just pick the last letter.

One day, two of my students heard me whisper "Oh, shit!" when a drop of coffee burned me. They've since repeated it to me about a million times and once, when I walked into my class, they yelled, "Hey teacher! Today's lesson is (as they whipped up projector screen to reveal their writing on the chalkboard below)... 'Oh shet!'" ...At least they spelled it wrong.

Topic of the day: Hobbies. So I ask my kids, "What are my hobbies?" They start yelling, "Soccer! Dancing! Spanish!" (I'm shocked that they pay enough attention to know those things.) Then one girl yells "Taking care of your monkey!" (I should mention that there's a long-running joke in that class about me having a pet monkey that hits my students when they're bad). I about died.

North Korea? Check!

I learned how to make my kids stop talking!! The answer isn’t asking nicely or yelling at them or even threatening detention. Today I began class with “I went to North Korea this weekend” and their mouths dropped open. The silence was a beautiful thing. Then I explained, of course, that I went to the Demilitarized Zone between the two countries and that I wasn’t actually in North Korea...I was just between the North and South.

I’d been putting the trip off since I got here six months ago, with the hopes of my grandpa coming to visit me and going there together (since he was stationed here during the Korean War). He doesn’t appear to be making moves on that though, so I decided to just go ahead and it really was an incredible day.

We walked on the Freedom Bridge (which my grandpa had showed me pictures of from when he was here), went through some of the tunnels that North Korea built after the war (fortunately, I’m the same size as the malnourished North Koreans so I, unlike everyone else, didn’t have to duck to walk through them), looked across the borders from observation decks with telescopes (to see Koreans biking –since they don’t have cars– and to see nothing when it was the “propaganda villages” that they built to make themselves look “prosperous” after the war),  and went into some really cool museums.

The whole experience was very strange because the atmosphere at the DMZ is so oxymoronic. Soldiers from both sides are on high alert all the time, ready for war to break out, even though there have been 21,399 days of peace so far (the South Koreans have a count-up on display). We were having a good time and the South Korean soldiers were all very nice but they often reminded us of what would and would not possibly provoke the soldiers across the border to shoot us. The two countries are at peace and it’s safe enough for civilians to hang out there, yet there is the possibility of immense danger breaking out at any time. The land there is beautiful and unpolluted but much of it is still riddled with land mines and dynamite. We saw two carnival-looking places there (why? I don't know...) but they were desolate; just the old rides and no people (it looked like something out of a scary movie). The two countries are supposed to have a truce, yet there are tunnels that the North Koreans secretly built in order to sneak-attack South Korea. The North Koreans obviously take the whole thing very seriously, while the South Koreans use it as a tourist attraction.

   The most interesting thing I learned about yesterday was how amazing the South Koreans’ attitude is. They remain forgiving and very hopeful, even though the end of this situation does not necessarily appear to be in sight. South Koreans write messages and prayers for their families trapped in North Korea and post them on the Freedom Bridge. They celebrate every day of peace and, among the memorials for their war heroes, there is a giant bell that would be heard all the way across the border in North Korea if rung. The soldiers explained to us that they plan to ring it when the two countries officially reunite.

Even though it is a sad situation, it seems that everyone here makes the best of it so we did too! We got North Korean stamps on our passports, played on the tanks and monuments (though I’m not sure we were necessarily supposed to do that), and laughed a lot. I learned so much and I’m grateful that I was able to go. I had to settle for buying my Grandpa a hat but I sincerely hope that he can come here to visit me sometime over the next few years.

My friends & me at the DMZ

Three Reasons To Smile This Week...

1. Six months in, I’m finally doing something about learning Korean. I started a language exchange with my new friend, Stephanie, from France. Yes, the French girl is teaching the American Korean and the American is teaching the French girl Spanish but it’s working(ish….Korean is hard!!).

2. I FINALLY joined a soccer team! I’ve been trying to find a way to play since I got here and, through a friend of a friend, I finally found some people to play with. I met about half of the team at our practice this past Saturday. I'm the only girl and, so far, the only American (only two of them are Korean though) so I don't have a whole lot in common with my teammates but we all speak English, everyone was really nice and I'm sooo happy to have found a team. Our first game is Saturday!

3. My kids are HILARIOUS.

Best homework definition of the day 

“Silly: it's like tool, idiot, block head”

Best conversation of the day (when Mexico randomly came up in our lesson)

Me: Mexico’s my favorite country in the world! Who can tell me where Mexico is?

Student: Under United States.

Me: Yes…and what language do they speak there?

Student: Taco.

…I died laughing for the rest of the class.

My First Ski Trip!! :D

I can’t believe I lived more than 23 years without trying skiing. I went with a group of coworkers to Yongpyong Ski Resort, near the eastern coast of S Korea, this past weekend and had an absolute blast!! The first day we did the beginner and intermediate hills and, schockingly, I didn’t fall once – while skiing, that is. I actually fell about four minutes after first strapping my skis on, even though I was only standing still. We were in line for the bunny hill so I could learn how to ski and I had drawn a smiley face in the snow with my ski pole. I was trying to get my friend’s attention to show her and somehow I fell over. All the Koreans around us were staring at me and three different people actually tried to help me up but they couldn’t because I was laughing too hard. That was the first of many times this weekend that I thought I was going to pee my snow pants from laughter. (My two girl friends and I also fell getting off of the ski lift almost every time and considered it a major success whenever we didn’t – but those were my only falls on day one!)

Since we had decided against paying for a ski class, my friends gave me a five-second lesson at the top of the bunny hill. They told me “make an ‘A’ with your skis when you want to stop.” The end. Then we started down the hill. It was surprisingly easy. I didn’t realize that you were supposed to zigzag down so I just aimed for the bottom and went. I picked up speed quickly and I felt like I made it to the bottom almost as soon as I left the top (it was only the bunny hill, of course). I thought it was really fun and I turned around to tell my friends that I liked it but they weren’t there yet. A few minutes later, Jacqui came down and yelled, “What the hell was that?!” She then proceeded to tell me that I was a crazy idiot and that if I did that on a real slope, I would die. Oops.

On day two, I got to learn what falling on skis is like. The hilarious part was that my friends were involved in every one of my crashes. I was still barreling down the hills because, even though I’d gotten the hang of steering and slowing down by then, I found it much more fun to go fast. The first fall was because a little girl made a turn when I was right behind her and I had to swerve to miss her. I successfully didn’t hit her, but I wiped out in the process, leaving one of my ski poles about 10 feet above me on the mountain. As I slid down the mountain on my stomach, I yelled Jacqui’s name, causing her to look back at me and then wipe out herself. My bad. A very kind skier brought my pole down to me and we continued on. With the first fall out of the way, I was ready to move on.

Later we decided to go to the highest peak of the resort and try making the run. It was 4,780 feet high and took 20 minutes to get to in the lift. The view at the top was absolutely AMAZING. We could see mountains all around and could even see the ocean just beyond them. I’d never seen anything like it and the view stayed just as beautiful the whole way down.

As soon as we began, though, our problems did too. One of my friends fell right at the top. I was the only one behind her and, therefore, the only one that could potentially help her so I made my uncoordinated way over to her. I am really not in any way capable of helping someone else while I’m wearing skis but I didn’t necessarily realize that at the time. I sat down and helped her take her ski off so she could stand up but then we had some serious issues. Since I was using a steep mountain as leverage to unhook her boot from the ski, I started to slide a little and our skis started to cross each other’s…our ski poles started to drift off in different directions. We got her ski back on but we couldn’t stand up or straighten ourselves out. We slowly, slowly crumbled into a little ball together and started to slide down the hill. All of our equipment came with us but the more we slid, the tighter our legs and skis got tangled up. We stopped and slid again multiple times and in total slid at least 15 feet down the mountain (according to Jacqui who was safely watching from a distance). We were stuck for a good ten minutes laughing hysterically and completely unable to move, with our friends as well as other people stopped to watch. Even though my legs were under her, I was somehow sitting on top of her and I warned her apologetically that I was seriously concerned that I was going to pee on her. Luckily for her, that didn’t happen. Finally someone came and helped us. It took him a few solid minutes to untangle us and pull both of us to our feet.

A few minutes later, four other friends and I were further down the hill. We were sort of sticking together and our friend who was boarding was in front of me. I started making my way over to him but was going much faster than intended and I clipped the side of his board (it was totally unnecessary because he wasn’t going fast, he was all the way to the side and anyone in my position should’ve been able to easily avoid him). He fell and I wiped out (complete with flips, he told me). Again, one of my poles ended up a good 10 feet above me because I slid down the damn mountain on my side. Justin, good sport that he is, brought me my pole. After I caught my breath from laughing I was like “Okay, let’s get moving. We’re taking forever.” He said fine but only if I went first. Understandably, he no longer trusted me and I will never be allowed to ski behind him again.

After that, there were no more falls. We made it to the bottom and I went back up to do the run again on my own. My friend had told me before that most people probably go down in about 15-20 minutes but had joked that I could probably make it in 10...even though no challenge was technically offered, I took it as one and accepted it. With no distractions, I went down at my top speed and actually covered the 3 and ½ mile run in about ten minutes!!! I was so excited!! It was so much fun and it was absolutely beautiful!

Obviously I’ve already made tentative plans to go back the weekend after next…and two weekends after that as well. I can’t wait to learn more and do even more difficult hills. Skiing is AMAZING!!

Overdue Update...

 I realize that it’s been well over a month since I’ve blogged and I didn’t mean to do that. Part of that is because I have a new Kindle(!) and the other part is that my life here has become more normal to me so I don’t find it as necessary to write everything down. Anyway, here are some highlights from my life since the last time I wrote:

I learned the Korean emergency numbers (a little late, I know):

119 - Firefighters & Ambulance

112 - Police Station

113 - If I spot a North Korean Spy (yes, I'm serious)

Kim Jong Il died

Erin asked me what it was like here right after he died, and I was waiting to see if anything would change but nothing really did. Everyone goes about their business as usual here because crazy North Korea simply continues to be crazy North Korea. In the back of everyone’s minds there is always the small fear that NK will do something one day, as well as the hope that the two countries will eventually reunite. Either way, though, the South Korean people continue with their lives just as they did before.

I finally played soccer!!

It took way too long for me to get out on the "field" (no grass)! I finally got to play with some friends of a friend and I had a blast. Girls don’t really play here so it was just me and all the guys…the same as it was when I played in Mexico and Cali. I had the wrong shoes but I’m playing with them next month (yes, they ONLY play once a month because they’re always studying) and I’ll be ready next time!

My students have continued to be ridiculous and entertaining:

-One told me in all seriousness that his greatest ambition is to go to the Black Hole.

-Another wrote “aroused” as a synonym for “excited” in her homework.

-One of my craziest kids told me I was “So good, so hot, so sexy” on his way out the door.

-And lastly, when I asked, “What would you do if you had a lot of money?” one kid told me that he would buy a car, a house and me…so that I would be his slave. ...Rude.