Recently, I blogged about seeing a thief sprint through traffic and right past a cop, within arm's reach, who did nothing to stop the guy, but only watched (here).
Then last week, as I was walking to school, I saw a little scuffle taking place in the middle of a plaza. There was an old, homeless-looking guy and then another old man with a younger girl, maybe in her early 20's. The man and girl were screaming at the homeless man, who was yelling back, and the two of them kept hitting him. There are always cops posted in that plaza and there were a couple near where I was walking. If I were one of them, I imagine that I'd jog over, tell everyone to calm down and please explain what was going on. (Side note: I'm very grateful that I am, in fact, not one of those cops.) This isn't what the cops did though.
One of them started sauntering over, taking a few of minutes to get there when it could've been 20 seconds, all while those three people keep fighting. He had his hand on his belt, apparently ready for action. He strolled up to the group. Did he ask what was going on? No. Did he tell anyone to calm down or step back? No. Did he immediately pepper spray the girl in the face without any warning? Why, yes. Yes, he did. And then he pepper sprayed the guy that was with her, too. Last but not least, he kicked a rock at them. The man and girl started to leave and I had to get to class so I did, as well.
I don't know who was at fault, why they were all fighting or what else could have been done about it. For all I know, the cop knows who the three of them are and they've had similar confrontations before. Or maybe he somehow did hear what was going on as he walked over and correctly judged who was at fault before he got there. It's even likely that the guy and the girl were bothering this poor homeless man.
I honestly don't know what was really going on but I think what I saw was strange and I wouldn't use it as a problem-solving model for the kids I teach. I don't know any cops here and I assume that there are plenty of fair, well-intentioned people working in the police force. Still, seeing these two scenes in the past few weeks hasn't inspired a whole lot of confidence.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Brazilian Sex (aka: Dating Culture)
I'm definitely learning about the culture here. Specifically, I've been learning about the dating culture here. It seems to work a bit differently than in the other countries I've been to. I started getting a little pissed off last week since it's seemed lately like every single dude that I met wanted to make out immediately, with the apparent intention of having sex that same night.
So I set out to get some answers.
Our miniature little U.N. of nine countries (that is, our Portuguese class) is a great place to start any kind of cultural conversation because we've got all kinds of perspectives....nine different countries: eight expats and one local...and each person brings unique views and ideas to the group. Plus, it's all in Portuguese!
Indeed, the conclusion was that, in Brazil, people get to know each other in bed more often than beforehand, as is custom in most of the other countries I've spent time in. At first, I assumed that the individuals I was meeting simply lacked respect or didn't care about taking the time to get to know people. But now I'm realizing it's actually a cultural difference and the difference is in the order of the way things happen (this is reminding me of when I blogged about Koreans building everything from the outside in, rather than the inside out, which really got to me until I realized it was the same but just in a different order). In the U.S., you date someone for a while and get to know them and then take things the rest of the way.
In Brazil, though, it's not like this, as recently confirmed by some of the members in my jiu jitsu class. I asked how long each of them had been dating their significant others and they responded by asking if I meant when they'd actually gotten together or when they'd officially started dating, a time weeks or months later. They told me that people sleep together first to make sure they work together in that sense and that they really like each other before they start to actually date. This is actually a norm in U.S. culture too, of course, but usually before getting married...not before starting to date.
Sometimes, since I love traveling and exploring new cultures so much, I forget that parts of it can be challenging. I forget that, when something works in the opposite way that I do, that it is not wrong, but different. In Korea, it was hard for me to accept that someone telling you that you looked like crap that day was a nice thing to say and here it's difficult for me to accept that everyone you meet wants to have sex immediately. But the challenge of trying to come to a compassionate understanding of each aspect of a culture is part of the fun of the traveling game, my friends.
Here's another one for ya that's nice and different from the culture I grew up in: It's okay to have sex with your cousins here. First cousins. You can date, marry, reproduce...whatever.
Yes, completely acceptable and happens all the time...apparently mostly in the northeast.
How did I originally find out about this? The last time I was here, when I asked one of my students how she'd met her boyfriend, she responded with,
"He's my cousin."
Her English isn't very good so I assumed she'd misspoken.
I had her repeat it.
"No, but your distant relative or something?" I'd asked.
Nope. It was her mother's brother's son.
All this time, I've been sure that I'd misunderstood. But a couple of days ago, as my friend Raquel and I were translating a film transcript, we realized that it involves two siblings having sex (we were not aware of this when we accepted the job). The confusion of it all reminded me of the whole 'cousin' conversation I'd had with my student the year before so I'd decided to ask about everything in my class.
Yet again, we were off to an intriguing conversation about concepts that hadn't really occurred to me to think about a whole lot in the past. Conclusion? Yep. It's acceptable here. All of the people from Rio that I've asked about it since have said something like, "I think it's a little weird but one of my colleagues does that" or "I wouldn't do it but a friend of mine does it" or even, "My cousin is married to one of my other cousins and they have three kids." It's apparently considered a little "strange" to many but completely acceptable to everyone. Siblings dating does not seem to be an accepted practice so I don't know what's up with this movie script that we're translating but it'll all be worth it when we get that paycheck.
Yes, conversations this week have been extremely interesting and, yes, I am learning a lot. "Brazil is the country of sex" one of my jiu jitsu friends told me at the end of our conversation last night. I guess that's so. I wouldn't say that learning any of this has exactly increased my desire to date anyone here, but that's not what I came for. I came to pry this mind of mine open and, dammit, I will!
(Disclaimer: Obviously not everyone has sex the first night they meet someone they like and it's definitely a minority of people that date their cousins. My point is just that these things are common and accepted in the culture.)
Anyway, there you have it, folks! Some cultural tidbits for you. Enjoy!
So I set out to get some answers.
Our miniature little U.N. of nine countries (that is, our Portuguese class) is a great place to start any kind of cultural conversation because we've got all kinds of perspectives....nine different countries: eight expats and one local...and each person brings unique views and ideas to the group. Plus, it's all in Portuguese!
Indeed, the conclusion was that, in Brazil, people get to know each other in bed more often than beforehand, as is custom in most of the other countries I've spent time in. At first, I assumed that the individuals I was meeting simply lacked respect or didn't care about taking the time to get to know people. But now I'm realizing it's actually a cultural difference and the difference is in the order of the way things happen (this is reminding me of when I blogged about Koreans building everything from the outside in, rather than the inside out, which really got to me until I realized it was the same but just in a different order). In the U.S., you date someone for a while and get to know them and then take things the rest of the way.
In Brazil, though, it's not like this, as recently confirmed by some of the members in my jiu jitsu class. I asked how long each of them had been dating their significant others and they responded by asking if I meant when they'd actually gotten together or when they'd officially started dating, a time weeks or months later. They told me that people sleep together first to make sure they work together in that sense and that they really like each other before they start to actually date. This is actually a norm in U.S. culture too, of course, but usually before getting married...not before starting to date.
Sometimes, since I love traveling and exploring new cultures so much, I forget that parts of it can be challenging. I forget that, when something works in the opposite way that I do, that it is not wrong, but different. In Korea, it was hard for me to accept that someone telling you that you looked like crap that day was a nice thing to say and here it's difficult for me to accept that everyone you meet wants to have sex immediately. But the challenge of trying to come to a compassionate understanding of each aspect of a culture is part of the fun of the traveling game, my friends.
Here's another one for ya that's nice and different from the culture I grew up in: It's okay to have sex with your cousins here. First cousins. You can date, marry, reproduce...whatever.
Yes, completely acceptable and happens all the time...apparently mostly in the northeast.
How did I originally find out about this? The last time I was here, when I asked one of my students how she'd met her boyfriend, she responded with,
"He's my cousin."
Her English isn't very good so I assumed she'd misspoken.
I had her repeat it.
"No, but your distant relative or something?" I'd asked.
Nope. It was her mother's brother's son.
All this time, I've been sure that I'd misunderstood. But a couple of days ago, as my friend Raquel and I were translating a film transcript, we realized that it involves two siblings having sex (we were not aware of this when we accepted the job). The confusion of it all reminded me of the whole 'cousin' conversation I'd had with my student the year before so I'd decided to ask about everything in my class.
Yet again, we were off to an intriguing conversation about concepts that hadn't really occurred to me to think about a whole lot in the past. Conclusion? Yep. It's acceptable here. All of the people from Rio that I've asked about it since have said something like, "I think it's a little weird but one of my colleagues does that" or "I wouldn't do it but a friend of mine does it" or even, "My cousin is married to one of my other cousins and they have three kids." It's apparently considered a little "strange" to many but completely acceptable to everyone. Siblings dating does not seem to be an accepted practice so I don't know what's up with this movie script that we're translating but it'll all be worth it when we get that paycheck.
Yes, conversations this week have been extremely interesting and, yes, I am learning a lot. "Brazil is the country of sex" one of my jiu jitsu friends told me at the end of our conversation last night. I guess that's so. I wouldn't say that learning any of this has exactly increased my desire to date anyone here, but that's not what I came for. I came to pry this mind of mine open and, dammit, I will!
(Disclaimer: Obviously not everyone has sex the first night they meet someone they like and it's definitely a minority of people that date their cousins. My point is just that these things are common and accepted in the culture.)
Anyway, there you have it, folks! Some cultural tidbits for you. Enjoy!
Saturday, January 9, 2016
2016's Very First Adventures
New Year's Eve this year was a freaking blast! More than 2 million went to the beaches to watch the fireworks displayed in front of Copacabana beach in Rio.
My friends and I decided to take a different route, though. We went to our friend's house (where we teach English on the weekends) at the top of Pavão Pavãozinho, a favela which happens to overlook Copacabana beach. I met tons of fun new people that night and got to hang out with some of my best friends from here in Rio. The people and the music were a blast...and then there was our view of the fireworks. >>
Our friend's rooftop had a couple of trees partially blocking the view so we went to one of his neighbor's houses to watch. Every time I go into the favela, I'm impressed again at how close everyone is. Everyone there is like family to one another so our friend could just take us to anyone's house with asking and it was no problem. It's really a beautiful community. We sat in our "VIP" seats to watch the show and then went back to his house after to dance the night away. It was a perfect night.
Poor little Dawid, my amazing and hilarious friend from Poland, had already been feeling sick and then felt even worse the day after our big celebration so we decided to go on a hospital adventure together. The very first thing they did was give us both name tags that said Dawid:
Then things continued to be entertaining after that. First of all, any time that Dawid and I are together, we're laughing. He's ridiculously hilarious anyway and I was specifically trying to keep him entertained that day to make him feel better. We were cracking each other up from the moment we walked into the hospital until the moment we left.
This may not have been wise because, in these hospitals, they rank you from 1-4 when you come in based on how sick you are and they take the most urgent cases first--definitely a good thing because people who came in bleeding or passing out were taken care of before Dawid. However, this also meant we waited for a while.
At one point, we couldn't even tell if we were on the waiting list anymore so Dawid went to ask one of the receptionists (who otherwise sat there with her arms folded and, most of the time, with her eyes closed; she's not built for customer service). All in Portuguese of course, Dawid asked her if he was still on the list. Arms still folded and frown still in place, she shook her head slowly the entire time he spoke. At the end, she said "Não falo inglês" ("I don't speak English). Rude.
The lady that did eventually come to get Dawid was super impatient and demanding and we took to calling her "the bitch." Creative, I know. These were the only two causing problems though. Dawid and I had as much fun as possible while waiting and there was a lot to be grateful for that day. We saw multiple very ill people carried in (sometimes by strangers) and they were immediately taken care of, despite the fact that some of them were definitely homeless. There was no questioning about insurance (not for Dawid, either) and everyone was treated with respect and able to see a doctor without needing to worry about money.
Even Dawid's medicine was free! They have a pharmacy right there in the hospital and whatever is prescribed to you is free of charge. For all of you that aren't American, that probably sounds mundane but, for us, this is still novel and amazing! We're used to shelling out absurd amounts of money for our meds and our appointments, if we can even afford to go to the doctor in the first place. It's been changing in the last few years but I'm so used to the old system that I'm always pleasantly surprised by medical systems in other countries (especially when they treat those of us who aren't even from their country). It's beautiful.
Just because we had some medical adventures, I of course had to watch this little guy again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65BlxjoaWNo It will never get old.
(NYE photos courtesy of my friend, Silvia)
My friends and I decided to take a different route, though. We went to our friend's house (where we teach English on the weekends) at the top of Pavão Pavãozinho, a favela which happens to overlook Copacabana beach. I met tons of fun new people that night and got to hang out with some of my best friends from here in Rio. The people and the music were a blast...and then there was our view of the fireworks. >>
Our friend's rooftop had a couple of trees partially blocking the view so we went to one of his neighbor's houses to watch. Every time I go into the favela, I'm impressed again at how close everyone is. Everyone there is like family to one another so our friend could just take us to anyone's house with asking and it was no problem. It's really a beautiful community. We sat in our "VIP" seats to watch the show and then went back to his house after to dance the night away. It was a perfect night. |
| The English teachers from our Pavão Pavãozinho program <3 David, Zach & Gabriel |
**********************************
 |
| I don't know why I had to wear the name of the patient I was with but it
made us laugh. It was fun to be a Polish dude for the day. ;) |
This may not have been wise because, in these hospitals, they rank you from 1-4 when you come in based on how sick you are and they take the most urgent cases first--definitely a good thing because people who came in bleeding or passing out were taken care of before Dawid. However, this also meant we waited for a while.
At one point, we couldn't even tell if we were on the waiting list anymore so Dawid went to ask one of the receptionists (who otherwise sat there with her arms folded and, most of the time, with her eyes closed; she's not built for customer service). All in Portuguese of course, Dawid asked her if he was still on the list. Arms still folded and frown still in place, she shook her head slowly the entire time he spoke. At the end, she said "Não falo inglês" ("I don't speak English). Rude.
The lady that did eventually come to get Dawid was super impatient and demanding and we took to calling her "the bitch." Creative, I know. These were the only two causing problems though. Dawid and I had as much fun as possible while waiting and there was a lot to be grateful for that day. We saw multiple very ill people carried in (sometimes by strangers) and they were immediately taken care of, despite the fact that some of them were definitely homeless. There was no questioning about insurance (not for Dawid, either) and everyone was treated with respect and able to see a doctor without needing to worry about money.
Even Dawid's medicine was free! They have a pharmacy right there in the hospital and whatever is prescribed to you is free of charge. For all of you that aren't American, that probably sounds mundane but, for us, this is still novel and amazing! We're used to shelling out absurd amounts of money for our meds and our appointments, if we can even afford to go to the doctor in the first place. It's been changing in the last few years but I'm so used to the old system that I'm always pleasantly surprised by medical systems in other countries (especially when they treat those of us who aren't even from their country). It's beautiful.
Just because we had some medical adventures, I of course had to watch this little guy again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65BlxjoaWNo It will never get old.
(NYE photos courtesy of my friend, Silvia)
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