If I had 1,000 won ($1) for every time I failed…

1. A few weeks ago, my friend was starting to come down with a cold so I went all motherly on her and popped her full of zinc, echinacea, vitamin C, and multivitamins. I didn’t realize, however, that it is very important to eat when you take zinc. If not, you will immediately start to feel nauseas and, if you are my friend, you will throw up everything you’ve eaten in the past two days. When she started vomiting, I turned on “Bartender” by T-Pain nice and loudly (it was the first thing that came up on my itunes) because I know how embarrassing it can be for someone to hear you be sick. I, of course, apologized afterwards for making her puke…and I apologized for DJing her vomiting episode as well because, looking back, I realized that it must’ve seemed a little insensitive to blast such a song while she felt so crappy. I’m surprised she didn’t get up and punch me in the face once she regained her strength.

2. This past weekend, another friend and I ordered rice cakes which, in Korea, means thick, delicious noodles made from rice and covered in a spicy sauce. They’re slippery and a little bit difficult for me to pick up no matter what, but they were given to us in a plastic bag and we were supposed to eat them with chopsticks (and did I mention we were riding in a taxi?). I felt more uncoordinated than Bambi when he learns to walk and my friend had to do all but feed them to me. Anyway, since I only got some of it on the back seat of that poor man's cab, I consider it a semi-successful failure.

3. A few days ago, one of my students failed to do his homework. He is a new student but he’s smart and knew how to do it so there was really no excuse. I gave him homework detention just like we teachers are supposed to. Then, however, he started to cry and he’s so freaking cute that I just couldn’t handle it. Even though we’re supposed to be super strict about detention, I took it away. On top of that, I really wanted to give him a hug but I knew that’d be taking it too far. I failed big time that day at being a strict teacher. Oops.

4. I’m not the only one, though! Since the bug exterminator came to my house, I’ve killed more bugs than ever. I’m now leaving them dead on the floor so that when I make him come back to spray again, he can see that he, too, failed.