Manners

The society you grow up in truly determines how you think. Of course all of the people within each society are different – they have their own ideas and think for themselves – but at the same time, they all live under the same umbrella of thinking…a general idea of what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s normal and what’s weird. Once you’re taken out of the environment you’re used to, though, you learn that there is not really as much of a “right and wrong,” as there is a difference. Manners are the perfect example because they exist in every country but they’re very different in each one.

            When I lived in Mexico, I said good morning/afternoon/evening to everyone I passed in the streets. I didn’t tip servers or cab drivers. Whenever I entered a room, I greeted everyone with a kiss on the right cheek, no matter how long it took. If there was someone I didn’t know, I introduced myself that same way and I did it all over again on my way out.

            When I lived in Italy, I greeted people with two kisses on the cheeks – first the right and then the left (which caused problems for me because of the habits I developed in Mexico…I often tried to go left first and had issues). I ate with my elbows on the table to show that I was enjoying the food and ate whatever was put in front of me, even if I didn’t want it. 

            Now that I live in Korea, I bow when I say hello, goodbye or thank you to someone and I use two hands when I hand money to a store clerk (if I only use one hand, I rest my other on my arm or stomach). I yell across the room to get my server’s attention when I’m out to eat and, again, I don't tip.

            My manners in the States are very different than they are everywhere else. I tip. I don’t talk to strangers. I keep my elbows off the table and I don’t kiss people on the cheek when I meet them. I don’t yell at my server from across the restaurant and I don’t bow when I say thank you to my cashier at Walmart.

I change my manners depending on where I am but some things always stay the same. Hocking loogies, as well as many other unacceptable (by US standards) bodily functions are ordinary in public here but I don’t take part in that part of the culture, simply because I've never wanted to. At the same time, I do plenty of things that are somewhat looked down upon by every culture I’ve been a part of: I laugh really loudly in quiet, public places, I walk around in sweats after working out (obviously without showering), and I poke fun at whatever country I’m in at any given time.

I often entertain myself with the idea of people from one of these countries trying to live in one of the others. It happens all the time but the first couple weeks inside that person's brain must be hilarious, with them wondering how in the world anyone thinks (fill in the blank) is normal. I know for a fact that the word "crazy" comes out a lot when someone first gets to a new country. In all seriousness though, adjusting the way you think so you can adapt to random cultural differences like these is one of the absolute best parts of getting to live in different countries and I'm already excited to do it in the next one I move to! :D