Student Ridiculousness Of The Week

During a game where one student describes the word and the rest guess:

Student 1: “Shannon Teacher is……”

Student 2 (Without missing a beat): “UGLY!”

….Correct Answer.

While reading a story about Helen Keller:

Me: "Why did Helen hug her teacher?"

Student: They're lesbians.

^And a kid in a different class said the exact same thing two days later.

I have tons of kids who have chosen the same English names so I have to use the first letter of their last names to separate them. My student, Justin G, on the other hand, keeps trying to call himself Justin J, Justin S or Justin L. He doesn't understand that you can't just pick the last letter.

One day, two of my students heard me whisper "Oh, shit!" when a drop of coffee burned me. They've since repeated it to me about a million times and once, when I walked into my class, they yelled, "Hey teacher! Today's lesson is (as they whipped up projector screen to reveal their writing on the chalkboard below)... 'Oh shet!'" ...At least they spelled it wrong.

Topic of the day: Hobbies. So I ask my kids, "What are my hobbies?" They start yelling, "Soccer! Dancing! Spanish!" (I'm shocked that they pay enough attention to know those things.) Then one girl yells "Taking care of your monkey!" (I should mention that there's a long-running joke in that class about me having a pet monkey that hits my students when they're bad). I about died.