Vere took me to a park in the middle of the city on my first Sunday morning here to watch a group that practices Capoeira. I'd never really seen it before and we were both completely taken with the music, the energy and talent of the people, and the beauty of the sport, in general. They were doing what's called a roda: people make a large circle, some playing instruments and the rest clapping and singing along enthusiastically, while everyone takes turns switching seamlessly in and out of the circle, always keeping two in the middle, creating this beautiful dance. We looked at each other in a we have to learn sort of way and the rest is history! We started classes the following Monday.
Now, of course I came to Brasil intending to learn new things -- Portuguese, samba, Capoeira and whatever else I possibly could. However, since I spent my last couple of years doing the same things over and over, I was totally shocked by the difficulty of trying to learn something completely new. I've been fully taken out of my comfort zone and it's been an emotional ride.
I go back and forth between feeling elated to be learning this beautiful sport and feeling completely frustrated and desperate. From day one you're expected to join in with everyone else but every single part of the process was difficult for me. Not only did I not know how to do the moves or when to do which ones, but right from the start you have to go into the middle of the circle to play (dance-fight) with everyone watching. When you're not in the middle, you're expected to clap and sing along loudly with the songs, which I can't even understand, much less reproduce. Beyond all that, I was trying to focus, watching the people and studying their moves to see what we were actually supposed to do for when it was our turn in the middle. Furthermore, any questions that I asked or any directions I was given were all in Portuguese, the majority of which I do not understand when spoken quickly.
All I can say is that it's not quite the graceful scene we watched in the park that first week. I feel like a bumbling, uncoordinated idiot, doing every single move incorrectly and looking like a tool in-between moves. This is partnered-up with being linguistically challenged and occasionally getting off-beat while clapping because I'm too focused on everything else. I'm 100% that it's be impossible for me to look or feel any dumber.
Why keep going? Well, I have to remember that this is what it felt like when I first took a salsa class and how my first conversations in Spanish went. Once you get your skills to a decent point, you forget what it was like when you started. These uncomfortable, nerve-wracking feelings often have to be a part of learning something new and they bring important lessons later on.
I'd like to say that all this awkwardness is in the past but it's definitely going to take more than just a few weeks for me to feel comfortable doing Capoeira. This is it, though. This is where we make the choice to leave our comfort zones to stretch our brains and bodies in new ways, so that we never stop growing. This blog post is my own personal reminder of just how difficult starting to learn Capoeira and Portuguese has been so that, in a few years, when I'm trying to learn something new and it's difficult, I'll look back on this and know that I can do it.
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| Our Capoeira Group |
Side note just because it's hilarious:
Everyone apparently has to have a "Capoeira name" to go by...for example people in our group have names that mean things like midnight, nocturnal, lightning and so on. They gave Vere the name Pimenta (pepper) since she's the spicy little Mexican of the group and then for me they came up with Nuvem or Neve (cloud or snow)...because I'm white. I died laughing but was also left extremely confused because, as you can see in the picture above, plenty of the other people in the group are white, too. Beyond that, I don't want my pale color to be what I go by so I'm hoping one of us can come up with something much better soon.
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