My 100th blog post! :)
Becca, my college roommate and one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life, finally had her first chance to go abroad. She went on a paid, week-long business trip to China and loved every minute of it. One of the texts I got from her that week was:
"I thought I'd be homesick but I'm not at all."
At first, I was surprised that anyone would even think to worry about homesickness for a time period of as short as a week but I quickly reminded myself that I shouldn't judge because homesickness is a feeling I've never had and, therefore, am probably not capable of fully understanding. Still, I know that my not understanding doesn't make it any less real to the people who do feel it and I've watched a lot of friends go through it. I believe it's my job to try to understand other people and to try to empathize with them, even if I can't ever understand exactly how they're feeling.
Over the next few days, I continued reflecting on homesickness and what it must feel like...as well as wondering why it had never happened to me.
A few days later, Becca and I were discussing my plans to head to Pennsylvania to stay with her for a few weeks. An image of me settling into my seat on yet another bus flashed through my mind and I suddenly felt a pang of longing. Yes. Oddly enough, the idea of a Greyhound bus taking me just across the state border set that off. Weird, right? I certainly thought so. It brought me back to something I'd written the last time I was on a bus:
"I find myself reflecting on the stability in my life...the exact thing that must look to others like instability: traveling. Tucked into my own row, back leaned against the window, legs stretched across the seat next to me, feet perched on the arm rest; my music, a mix of my favorite languages and rhythms from the places I've been, is playing through my headphones as I take in the beauty outside my window, feeling more at-home than ever. I belong on the road. My job is to float, to move, both in and outside of my comfort zone, from country to country, through different states, cities and communities, to learn, to see, to conocer, to be grateful and to love."
Becca, my college roommate and one of the most wonderful people I've ever met in my life, finally had her first chance to go abroad. She went on a paid, week-long business trip to China and loved every minute of it. One of the texts I got from her that week was:
"I thought I'd be homesick but I'm not at all."
At first, I was surprised that anyone would even think to worry about homesickness for a time period of as short as a week but I quickly reminded myself that I shouldn't judge because homesickness is a feeling I've never had and, therefore, am probably not capable of fully understanding. Still, I know that my not understanding doesn't make it any less real to the people who do feel it and I've watched a lot of friends go through it. I believe it's my job to try to understand other people and to try to empathize with them, even if I can't ever understand exactly how they're feeling.
Over the next few days, I continued reflecting on homesickness and what it must feel like...as well as wondering why it had never happened to me.
**********
A few days later, Becca and I were discussing my plans to head to Pennsylvania to stay with her for a few weeks. An image of me settling into my seat on yet another bus flashed through my mind and I suddenly felt a pang of longing. Yes. Oddly enough, the idea of a Greyhound bus taking me just across the state border set that off. Weird, right? I certainly thought so. It brought me back to something I'd written the last time I was on a bus:
"I find myself reflecting on the stability in my life...the exact thing that must look to others like instability: traveling. Tucked into my own row, back leaned against the window, legs stretched across the seat next to me, feet perched on the arm rest; my music, a mix of my favorite languages and rhythms from the places I've been, is playing through my headphones as I take in the beauty outside my window, feeling more at-home than ever. I belong on the road. My job is to float, to move, both in and outside of my comfort zone, from country to country, through different states, cities and communities, to learn, to see, to conocer, to be grateful and to love."
Reading this, I
realized for the first time that I actually do experience homesickness. It's just different than other people's.
My heart fluttered as I pictured myself
sitting on a bus or a plane, one bag to my name, reading or chatting with the person next to
me, excited to overcome future obstacles, opening my mind and
heart to whoever I met, learning whatever I could and having amazing and unexpected adventures the whole way. I realized that that is my home and that I truly do miss it when I'm away. I miss
the comfort of the excitement and uncertainty. I miss the wisdom behind the realization that I'm not in control. I miss the peace that
comes with freedom. I miss being my real, authentic self, something I feel I can't fully be--something I can't fully express--when I'm
stuck somewhere away from home, away from my heart.
I guess it really is true what they say:
home is where the heart is. And my heart is forever on the move,
forever learning and growing from the new experiences and people around
me.
<3 I'll be back on the road soon. <3
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