Amazingly, they accepted my registration the first day I went (that is the only time I've succeeded at something Brazilian-visa related on the first try). Am I done now? Not quite. I have to go back in 50 days to pick up my official ID or whatever it is. Then four months later I'll have to border-hop to come back in on my tourist visa if I want to stay. And should I choose to do that, I'll have to go back three months later to renew the visa to stay if I want to be here for the full year. Each of those simple steps will turn out to be nice and long.
Disclaimer: I realize that I have no right to complain because the visa process for people to come to the U.S. is much worse. Many people go through way more than that just to be denied. I'm just explaining in case people were wondering what it's like to get a visa here.
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The bureaucracy doesn't stop there, though. Everything in Brazil is such a lengthy process that it almost seems like a joke. I think I've commented before in my blogs about the insanely long lines at grocery stores and banks and whatnot. I need to put pictures in here at some point because it can be pretty incredible sometimes.
This past week, I found myself marveling at the process involved stopping in a rest-stop along the highway to pee.
1. Upon entering building, press a button in front of a turnstile.
2. Take little re-useable plastic ticket-thing (damn, I really should've taken pictures) with a number and barcode on it.
3. Turnstile then allows you to walk through.
(Every time you want to buy something, whether from the store shelves, the self-serve hot food bar or at the counter with fresh bread and whatnot, they scan the plastic ticket thing and you hang onto it until you leave. You have to participate in this entire process even if you're not buying anything.
4. You may then use the bathroom.
5. Wait in line as all the people who are actually buying food from the self-service bar get their tickets scanned.
6. Get your ticket scanned and proceed to the convenience store-like other half of the building.
7. Walk all the way to the far end of the building, around a bunch of empty tables, in order to make a U-turn and come back to the check-out.
8. Wait in line again with all of the people who are actually buying things.
9. Have your ticket scanned so they can see you don't owe any money.
10. Finally leave.
And don't think that it was just this one place. This kind of process is Brazil's specialty.
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That bureaucracy is something that everyone here deals with on a daily basis (part of what I attribute Brazilians' overall patience to, though I don't know if that's really the cause). Foreigners, though, have some extra issues to deal with as well. The other day, I stopped to buy some grapes from this guy that always sells fruit right around the corner from my house and right outside the bakery where my friend Clarice (the one from the YouTube channel I mentioned in the last blog) works. I asked him how much and I thought I heard him say "três" meaning three (which is super cheap...less than $1) so I handed him three reals. He looked at me and enunciated "dez!" meaning ten. I guessed I'd misheard. Ten seemed a little expensive but I already had the grapes in my hand and everything so I just went with it. I like to support local vendors when I can so it's alright if it's a little more expensive.
Then I walked into the bakery and started to tell Clarice and she freaked out. "Did you pay 10 reals for those?! He charges me five." She stormed right out to the guy and told him that she'd sent me to buy the grapes for her and she wanted her change back--the same amount he always gives her. He had sort of a dumbstruck look on his face the entire time they were talking and he eventually gave me two reals back but still had three more than he should've. Yes, yes. Just like in Peru (and everywhere else), there's a price for the general population and there's a special price for gringos.
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Last but not least, if I'm going to have the word "run" in the title of this post, I have to mention some serious hustling that I witnessed just two days ago (and not for the first time).
I was in the street waiting for a bus and suddenly a bunch of people were yelling and chasing after a guy who'd just robbed someone. He'd run out into traffic to make it difficult for people to chase him but some did anyway. There was a cop car with two cops standing outside of it and we all watched from across the street as the thief ran by them, literally within an arm's reach. We watched in amazement as the cops did absolutely nothing about it. They stood and watched, the thief got away and then life eventually went on again.
If you treat your poor people poorly enough (Brazil doesn't do sh*t to take care of its poorest citizens) and have the rich people parade around with their expensive bags, jewelry and iPhones, this seems to be a pretty much guaranteed daily situation. Then the cycle spins out of control...the rich people get more scared of the poor people, the poor people are even less taken care of and they end up in even more dire situations and having to find more ways to get money. Then, boy, do they end up extremely skilled in darting across four lanes of moving traffic!
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Brazil is certainly an interesting place. Like anywhere else in the world, it has it's pros and cons; it has things that go along with my personality and things that don't. But it's teaching me patience with all it's rules and processes (we all know that patience is not a natural strength of mine) and the visa shenanigans and gringo problems are well worth the opportunity to learn this beautiful language, try new sports, make amazing new friends, spend long days on these incredible beaches with mountains all around, and enjoy the crap out of my life. Brazil, go ahead and continue just as you are. I'm obsessed with you either way and I'll see if there's anything I can do to help you while I'm here.
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